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She looked at me, her mouth was agape and her eyes opened fully, shedropped her bags and let go with total volume. "What the fuck are youdoing? Why are you dressed like that? What are you some kind ofpervert? How long has this been going on? Who else knows? Have Imarried some kind of pervert or what?" Well answer me then."I tried to explain to her; my explanation lasted the whole of twominutes before she started screaming again, "Do you want to be afucking girl then, because you're not much of a man, are you, alldressed up in your pretty, pretties. You make me sick just looking atyou, have you got any more clothes like that?I just nodded. "Right, then you pansy, go and get them all and putthem in a suitcase and bring them down here now."I said, "I'll go up and change as well." "No, you fucking won't," sheshouted.I went upstairs and got the rest of my clothes together. I thoughtSarah was going to make me throw them out. I packed them into asuitcase with all my other stuff, makeup etc.. When Mother Nature was done with me I had only made it to five foot eight. As has been pointed out to me many times, that doesn't even make it to the mark for normal men, which is five foot ten. I always tell them I'm holding back inflation. That if it weren't for short people like me the average would be a lot higher. Anyway, back to what I was telling you. The whole problem was my hair. Yeah that's right. The whole mess started because of my hair. Amber thought it was too long. As she kept pointing out, when I was young my hair was fairly short, or as she calls it, 'normal', but then I got a temporary job up on the North Slope in Alaska. During the six months I was up there I just let my hair and my beard go like a lot of the guys did. No problem. Until I came home that is.When I got back to the lower 48 Amber just laughed at me and said that I had to get humanized again before she would be seen in public with me. I didn't have a problem with that but then she went on and started.
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